Learning to Love

When I was a young man, I used to like kids and thought I understood about caring. I had taught kids swimming, had relationships and felt I was ready for the next step, so I took it. I got married to a wonderful woman with children of her own. Love to me at that time was a word I felt was greatly over-used. I rarely said it to my wife or my step-children. She would say, "I love you," and I would reply, "me too". I know this frustrated my wife many times, but I failed to see it. I did love her and came to love her children as our children. I realized I felt love for them, but was unable to correctly express it, so I tried to show it. This worked for awhile, but not always. I could not understand why they did not see how I felt by my actions, but not everyone has insight into meanings without words. Then came the day when my wife told me she was pregnant with our first child. I felt something growing inside of me. The first time I saw the little spark of life from the sonogram, something started changing in me. When I first held my daughter in my arms for the first time, something overwhelmed me. I knew for the first time in my life what complete and total love felt like. The wall I had built around my heart had been taken apart by the smile of my daughter. I truly knew love. I still had to work on expressing myself, but it became easier and easier as time moved on. I remember a specific time when I picked her up from daycare. She saw me walk into the room and the game she was playing with her friends no longer mattered. I was there and I was all that mattered. She saw me, threw down her toys, screamed out "daddy!" and ran into my arms. I almost cried right there. The love I felt at that moment in time, made me realize we should never, ever, let pride or anything else stand in the way of letting those we love know how we feel. From then on, I made sure to tell my wife I loved her. The love I experience with my baby also helped me to realize how much I had come to love my step-daughters. It came to the point where I hated referring to them as my step-daughters. I felt they were my girls and my heart opened to the feelings of love I had for them. I truly and completely loved them as my own, and they loved me back. Their love helped me to truly understand, love knows no boundaries. Love does not recognize color, race, religion or bloodlines. It is what it is, as the saying goes. Several years later, I was blessed with another daughter. To be honest, I had always wanted a son, but God, in His infinite wisdom, knew what was best for me. Looking back now, I am so thankful for what I do have. My daughters have been the blessings I never would have known if things had been different and I would not have it any other way. I have often told others, "you never truly understand and know love until your child in your arms, until they smile at you, or call you dad." My two oldest girls have at one point or another called me father or dad. Though I would never think of replacing their biological father, whom they love so much, I feel so much love for them as my own. I feel the pride and love as only a father can feel. All my girls know I love them. I make sure to tell them now and let them know. Life is way too short to not let the ones we love know it. We never know when our time may come. We make plans in our minds on what we would say at the end and how we might say it, but the truth is, we cannot plan our fate. We can only accept it and try to make sure those left behind know, no matter what, how we felt while we were here. I love my wife, my children, my siblings and parents. I have some friends who are close to me who know I love them as well. Love is the message of our Father in heaven, and His Son Jesus. Can we do any less than follow the example they set for us? The words, coupled with the actions show the truth. "Love thy neighbor as they brother". Let them know love.